U2 Must Cease To Exist

I don’t really think I need to tell you why U2 (specifically Bono) needs to stop anything they do and hide underground until they die of prostate cancer, but I’m going to anyway. Two news headlines caught my attention in the past few days that proves to me that U2 is not helping to save the world, but in fact are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

"Unos, dos, tres, cuatro!"

News Headline #1 - Outrage over wall blocking free U2 Berlin concert

During it’s existence from 1961 to 1989, the Berlin Wall stood as a monument of dissection and invariability.  Following WWII, Joseph Stalin and the rest of Soviet Union really took a bitch-slap at the Allies by implementing a communist Western Germany.  The Allies on the other hand wanted a more democratic  Germany all together.  You see, the Soviets had control over the east, and the Allies controlled the west.  Where, you might ask, does this leave Berlin?  Smack dab in the middle.  On the 13th of August 1961, eight years after his death, the influence of Stalin was greater than ever.  The border between East and West Berlin was shut down completely by the East German army, and construction began on the wall.  It wouldn’t be until 18 years later that the wall would come down by it’s own citizens in a frenzy of freedom.

So in the famous words of President Ronald Reagen… “Bono!  Tear down this wall!”

News Headline #2 – Maria Sharapova dating Lakers’ Sasha Vujacic

Ok U2.  Come here.  Have a seat.  If your going to be at least partly responsible for unions such as Maria and this fag than you need to just stop what you’re doing all together and go drown yourself in an acid bath.  Hook Susan Boyle up with somebody for tits sake!  You guys suck.  Your music sucks.  And your really pissing me off!

On a final note, Bono is a douche.